Revised Dress Code Segment- Critique

Jenevieve and I came up with the idea to do a revised dress code segment by noticing all of the strong feelings toward the subject since Mrs. Shanks announced it at the end of last semester. The only research we had to do was familiarize ourselves with the dress code, but this wasn't much of a task because we'd heard it so many times already. We wanted a range of people for interviews, so we chose a sophomore (Alec), a senior (Camilla), a teacher (Ms. Ferro), and, of course, Mrs. Shanks (mainly to justify the decision and try to help students understand). We made sure our questions were focused and relevant, but still allowed for the interviewees to give an opinion. It was difficult to come up with good ideas with b-roll because we obviously had to show students and what they were wearing, but we didn't want to point rule-breakers either. Basically we envisioned a couple shots of students at lunchtime and the photoshopped stills of what not to wear.

For Ms. Ferro, we used her classroom, but we set her up at a diagonal so the shot wasn't quite so boring.

For Mrs. Shanks, the window made it a little hard to set up the shot at a nice diagonal, so we put her up against her bulletin board, which actually had the yellow dress code paper off to the side.

For Alec and Camilla, we set up outside (Camilla by the office and Alec by the cafeteria), but it was during 1˚, so there weren't any distracting noises. None of our shots were creative (we just used stills to add to the interviews). I think we set up Mrs. Shanks well, but Ms. Ferro, despite being on the wrong side based on where she was looking, had a nice background that was the least bland out of the interviews. The one or two lunchtime shots we had were handheld, but still fairly smooth. We only used the rule of thirds for the interviews. The lighting was decent (Alec's shot involved the sunrise, so he squinted a little).

Our focus was always good. Our audio came out great, for once, but during Alec's interview we came across some strange noises during editing that may have been the result of Alec fidgeting with the mic while talking (we cut those out).

Jenevieve's voiceover basically introduced the topic and gave a list of what the revised dress code is. Jenevieve exclaimed "Hey Cap!" I think that was enough to grab the audience's attention. Our segment was informative in that it gave students insight into different perspectives, thus giving insight, as well. I think the voiceovers blended our interview SOTs together well in our "grande" finale closing voiceover, which pointed out the positive intent of the code, and in our introduction by pointing out that these are all opinions, not facts. This final though is meant to show that the school isn't out to get us, it just wants to focus more on a bright future of professional adults.

All of our b-roll/PIPs corresponded to what the interviewee was saying (e.g. showing businesspeople when Ms. Ferro says that the dress code makes people look "well-put-together").

We used fade in-fade out transitions and cross dissolves, but nothing that pops out. We also lowered the background music during the interviews and faded out at the end. We had many graphics, the most significant being the ones during the introductory voiceover, which shows the red and blue clothes, no sagging, etc. with big red circles with lines through them on top. All of this was set atop a still of the yellow dress code paper we found in the science hall.

We used a Motion template for our title, but it was boring at first, so I added a picture of the school to make it a little more interesting.

We added no filters, special effects, animations, or montages--the segment was meant to be straight to the point and not so humorous as other topics would have allowed. We had a little jump cut of Camilla toward the end, but it is barely noticeable. Other than that, there are no other glitches.

My favorite part about our piece is Mrs. Shanks interview because she really brings up some good points and she addresses that she understands how the students feel and why she has to just put up with it. If I had more time, I would have shot and added more b-roll (without attracting attention as we shoot what people are wearing). The most important lesson I learned is that segments that don't bring up offensive or controversial topics are capable of more humor, unlike ours, which was purely informative.

A Character in Time

Treatment: Untitled

A man wakes to the sound of his alarm clock. There is a lanyard name tag beside the clock that reads: Wondercon" and then "Albert Randalf." Albert sits up and stares out the window with an appearance of hopelessness, purposelessness, and just plain boredom. The birds chirp endlessly in the background. Albert glances longingly at his portraits of Gandalf, Dumbledore, and an interpretation of Merlin, then an unfinished Dungeons and Dragons game on the nearby table, a battered copy of the Lord of the Rings (The Fellowship of the Ring) lying open on the floor, and the first Harry Potter movie just by the DVD player. Albert stares back out the window, and then lies back down.

Hours later, judging by the alarm clock, Albert is just leaving his cramped, dim apartment. He trudges outside and down the stairs to the loud city below, a frown on his face. He walks along slowly, people on bikes peddling by, people in tracksuits jogging around him, actually heading toward something.

There in the window was a sight like no other--a wizard's pointy hat sitting in the window of an old magic shop. Albert's eyes became wide at the 50% off sign just beside the hat.

Albert heads inside the shop and goes to the window. "Authentic, that is. That hat is said to belong to my distant ancestor, a well-known wizard of the 11th century," said a voice. Albert turned around, hat in hand, smiling. "How much?" he asks. "20 dollars after sale," said a small bearded man with a similar pointy hat and flowing robes.

Albert's face turns to sadness as he realizes in a flashback that he still can't afford the hat as we return to the eviction sign and a frustrated Albert going through bills in the dim apartment. We return to Albert staring at the hat and go into another flashback highlighting Albert focussing only on the screen as he watches Gandalf casting Saruman out of the good King Theoden in The Lord of the Rings, popcorn in hand, but not daring to move as he watches in awe. We see Albert crying as he reads Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. We see Albert chuckling and moving one of his players in his one-man D&D game. Lastly, we see Albert washing his framed portraits of his favorite wizard with Windex.

Albert comes out of the flashback.

"I don't have the money, but I'll do anything for that hat," he said with emotion.

"Hmm," said the shopkeeper, stroking his beard thoughtfully toward Albert. The shopkeeper glances towards a dusty D&D game board not far away. We go into a flashback of all the times the shopkeeper won (exclaiming, "Ha!" every time) against himself. He turns back to Albert, "I'll play you for it."

Albert squints his eyes at the shopkeeper, and the shopkeeper does the same. We see Albert again, "Deal."

The shopkeeper grabs his Windex from behind the counter and cleans off the dusty board. Albert half smiles at this. The two sit down, a clock in the background.

A few hours pass, judging by the clock in the background and we see the two slowly nearing the end of the game. We see the two placing their characters in slow motion, Albert chuckling at a good move, and the shopkeeper exclaiming, "Ha!"

One hour later, we see Albert make a move in slow motion and chuckle. The shopkeeper stares back and forth, mouth open, at the board and at Albert. Albert the victorious puts his hand out over the board for the shopkeeper to shake it. The shopkeeper smiles and shakes it, "Marlin Dumbledon, by the way."

"Pleased to meetcha," Albert replied. The shopkeeper handed him the hat. "Oh, and good game," Albert added. The shopkeeper, still smiling, nodded.

Albert was headed for the door, when, as he pushed the door open, Marlin called, "Say, you said you're having money troubles, eh." Albert, turned to him and nodded, frowning. "And, well, you seem to know a lot about this kind of stuff", he added a little more quietly to himself. "I've been manning this shop by myself for years now. I could really use a partner." Albert chuckled and put his new hat on. He came back inside and said, "Sure would." Marlin walked him over to the counter and started enthusiastically explaining how to determine between a fraud wizard hat and the real thing, which types of customers to watch out for, how to organize the bookshelf of wizarding history and fantasy novels, etc., with Albert nodding all the way.