A girl arrives at her doorstep with a guy. They stand shyly and hesitantly next to each other; they both twiddle their fingers, unsure of what to do next. "Well, I'll text you later," the guy says with a smile. "Yeah, okay. See ya," the girl responds, returning the smile, not the least bit disappointed. The girl slowly starts to reach for the doorknob, but the boy quickly takes her outstretched hand and pulls her toward him into a quick hug.
Taken off guard, the girl bites her lip with a smile. The guy lets go and they are seen smiling even bigger than before. "Okay, now I'll see you," she turns and opens the door, stepping inside, while inside her head she squeals. The door shuts behinds.
An alarm clock goes off. Its bright numbers flashing repeatedly. We see a neat room and the girl rises with a big smile and gets to her routine: jump cuts of teeth being brushed, her legs trying to make their way into her pant legs, her hand pulling up the zipper of her jacket, hair being put into a ponytail, shoes being put on, and finally a waist shot at the end of the routine.
A voice calls out from downstairs, "Morning hun."
"Morning, Ma," she calls back, about to walk out her door. The girl passes her clock and checks the time: 10:12 AM.
She blinks: the clock now reads 10:12 PM.
It's now nighttime and the girl finds herself in her pajamas again with her hair down. That's not supposed to happen..She slowly turns toward the window and sees the night sky. She looks down perplexedly at her pajamas, her hand grabbing a fistful of her shirt. And wasn't I wearing actual…Um...clothes?
Her mom yells from another room in the house, "Night, hun."
Um, Night? she thinks as she looks toward the door. The girl checks her phone for any texts. She sees some from earlier that day, only she doesn't remember reading or responding to them. There was one text confirming that she has another date with the guy. Since when do we have another date? The girl checks her calendar and we see the the girl mark the calendar for the next date, 3 days later. Hmmm…
Glancing at the clock, she yawns with her eyes closed for a few seconds: 10:14 PM. Now, her hair is in a braid. Yeah that's weird. The girl touches her hair, but then shrugs off the strange happenstance. Her phone vibrates and she checks it. She quickly texts back as she sighs. When she puts the phone back to its home screen, the date is changed to 4 days later. The girl's eyes widen OH MY GOSH. and she looks at her calendar. The day for her date has been crossed off. The phone vibrates and she checks it. There is a text from the guy she went on a date with: "Are you okay? Every time you respond to my texts, it doesn't seem like you're all there." She purses her lips in thought Well maybe that's because I HAVEN'T been responding to your texts, puts the phone at her bedside, and then gets into bed and looks at her clock again and turns the alarm on: 10:14 PM. She puts her head on the pillow and lies there. The girl sighs, then the crickets gradually become the sound of chirping birds and sun falls on the girl's face [this is not one of the phenomena of time, just a transition].
The girl's alarm clock goes off at 9:00 AM and she turns it off without looking. She gets up and goes through the morning routine again, exactly as in the first scene. She goes back and checks the clock: 10:12 AM. Then, looking up in thought and suspicion, Maybe if… the girl looks at the clock and closes her eyes, even squinting them shut. We hear sounds of time moving by quickly, and when the girl opens her eyes, it is 10:12 AM.
The girl nods her head in triumph at solving her little problem.
She sees a missed call on her phone from the guy. She calls the guy, and a female voice picks up on the other end: "Hello?"
The girl quizzically asks for the guy and the voice on the other side pauses and hesitates. Static can be heard and then the guy's voice is heard, "What do you want?"
"When are we going on our date?"
"What are you talking about? We haven't talked in three months."
The girl freezes. Three months. We spin around her as we cut to a calendar passing through the months until it becomes transparent with the girl. The room starts to become a wavy blur, causing her to drop her phone. The loud crack on the ground can be heard as well as the guy on the other end saying "Hello? Are you there?" She ignores it, runs to the clock and pulls out the plug. The clock crashes to the floor and in that same instant, there's a whoosh as she wakes up, eyes wide. The swooshing sound merges with the sound of the alarm clock and her eyes move toward something off-screen. The camera follows her eye line and lands on the clock, unbroken, on the stand blaring the time of 9:00 AM.
The girl picks up the phone and calls Pleeeaaase pick up! "Hello?"
The girl closes her eye in joy and smiles, relieved. Yes!
I like the idea because I think its pretty unique, but why did the girl avoid the boy for so long. As the girl is in the room, you should have flashbacks of what actually happened on their date. Did the girl think he is weird? Or did she do something embarrassing? It's a good story but needs some more work to have a well narrative arch.
ReplyDeletewhoa, this is a mindtrip. I think it could turn out super cool, especially with all the time tricks and stuff. The only thing I'm wondering about is the purpose behind it, does she have super powers? is she going crazy? Maybe there should be some sort of explanation. Other than that I think it's pretty cool.
ReplyDeleteCreative idea, Jenna. I could totally see this as a finished production and how it could be executed. The time manipulation(slash confusion) is a great idea. I agree with Jenevieve because I didn't really see a point or plot in the narrative. But I guess the execution can make up for the plot. I liked the message I got out of this too; life moves to fast for us to notice.
ReplyDeleteI love the idea jenna! Definitely unique and different, but that's a good thing. I can see how you are using time as a manipulation throughout the film. I agree with Jenevieve and Plenny about a point in the narrative. I agree with plenny 100% on how you leave the audience a message saying "life moves to fast for us to notice". It's a really good meaning and you definitely portray it well(: Good job, jenna!
ReplyDeleteI really like your idea. Very interesting with the role of time and you describe shots in great detail. I am having a difficult time understanding the point of the story, the theme I mean. Good job!
ReplyDeleteI like your idea. It's creative and really interesting. Sometimes its a bit confusing but for the most part its a good plot and story line. Great job!
ReplyDelete