Logline: A young woman’s life comes to an end, but she can’t accept that her relationship with her boyfriend is over, so when she realizes that he is out of her life she can finally accept her death.
The guy says, “I was gonna wait until we got to the marathon, but I thought I’d just get it over with.” So the guy begins to pull out a watch from his pocket, and says, “Happy One Year Anniversary” and gives the watch to her. The girl accepts the gift and smiles with her eyes looking down and her face glowing. After Nathan tells Taylor that he has to go, so they hug each other and Nathan gives the girl a kiss on the cheek, and both go their separate ways. Then Taylor is running to her car as we fade out.
The day arrives for the marathon and Taylor is waiting for Nathan to come pick her up. She tries to call him, but he doesn’t answer. She calls the guy and leaves him a message. “Hi umm. Just another message. I know I’ve sent a billion, but it’s getting late. It’s 9:44 and the marathon starts soon.” The girl sighs and puts the phone down. She stares at her running shoes and heads out of her home toward the street.
The trail empty as the girl, dressed in the running clothes she wore on the day of the marathon, stares ahead. Then it cuts to the girl as a small drip of water going down her cheek. She looks at her watch [9:45], and strokes it, remembering the time it was given to her. She turns around all of a sudden and walks away.
The girl is running by herself in the woods and by the guy’s house in different sets of clothes which each cut. Every time she passes by his house she glances over at the window, with its blinds/curtains shut. This makes Taylor mad and angry trying to figure out what is wrong.
She is in the spot where she remembered being with the guy (opening scene). She stops. There is a flash of that scene and when she returns to the present the guy is standing there in white running clothes. The girl smiles. “Get my messages?” “More or less...Look, I’m really sorry we didn’t get to do the marathon. It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t stop running,, though. Come on [he gestures]...if you can keep up” [he half-smiles] He gestures to her to run with him. She starts to speak but then shuts her mouth and nods in agreement. They begin to run and after a bit she spots a tree and says, “Last one to the tree is a rotten egg!” She runs as fast as she can laughing. We see her from the front and see that the guy is no longer there. She reaches the tree and says as she turns around, “See I told you I could kee-”. She sees him no longer there.
Then she sees him again turning to cross the bridge not far away. The girl is running fast in that direction. She is running but is never able to catch up to him. Then she arrives at the neighborhood, by this time running out of breath yet still persevering as we have a split screen of the guy putting on a shirt, a tie (white), combing his hair.
She knocks on his door frantically and it finally opens. The guy opens the door, dressed in white. “I’ve been waiting for you,” he says half-smiling. “Let’s walk.” She looks at him unsurely and the two walk a short distance and cut to them sitting down on a bench. “You see. Nathan’s gone. You have to let him go, okay? You don’t belong here anymore, Taylor.”
The girl looks at him in confusion and looks at her watch again [9:45] and starts to speak but the guy cuts her off. “This isn’t your world,” Nathan’s subconscious says as the real Nathan, dressed in black, knocks on an unknown door. The door opens to a different girl. “You’ve been gone for months don’t you get it? Let him go. Let me go,” Nathan’s subconscious self explaining to Emily as they sit on the bench. The girl processing everything, then stands up abruptly, unsure of what to do and who the man is. She looks around, and tracking shot of her running back to his house.
The door opens to his room and she walks in slowly and hesitantly, grazing her hand over the walls. She glances over at the dresser to see her watch, and then glances at the watch on her wrist. “But how..?” She stops as she sees a photo-shopped image of her lying near the watch that says Rest In Peace Taylor 1991-2011 with a small heart at the bottom. She takes it and then drops to the floor quietly, staring at the photo. We move away from Taylor to see the subconscious of Nathan coming in.The girl says, “Is he okay?” “I told you. He’s moving on. He’s left this part of himself behind.” Nathan puts his hands on his chest, indicating that this is the subconscious part of himself he left behind. Nathan’s subconscious self reaches his hand out.
“He never forgave himself, you know. Just a minute too late,” he says as we see Nathan with the other girl and they’re walking down the sidewalk. He puts his head in his hands and the girl lays her hand on his back, consoling him. We see a pair of feet in familiar running shoes step out into the street. The sound of a car crash bridges over to Taylor’s shocked face as she suddenly realizes what is going on. Taylor takes his hand, the watch still on her wrist. We see the girl’s bloody arm lying limply on the pavement, the watch on her wrist, 9:45. “It’s time to go now,” Nathan’s subconscious says quietly. He reaches out his hand and as her shaky hand reaches out to it, they fade away to reveal on the wall a photo of her Nathan in their running clothes and holding a trophy.
Our Inspirations:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fj43wIBwEmw
Supernatural Episode 2.16: “Roadkill”
The way you present your plot line is really strong. I sort of get the idea that you are trying to reach with your story. I think you do a really good job at showing us the story rather than directly telling it. I think in the beginning though it would be a good idea to develop their relationship a little more to give us a reason to why she is so attached and can't let go. Also, if they have been going out for a year, I think the kiss should be on the lips and not the cheek, because it's more realistic in a year long relationship type thing. Overall though, your treatment was very well though through and you definitely present a strong conflict that we have to think about through out the film.
ReplyDeleteThe treatment is more of a story than an actual treatment. The problem with this is that the film appears to rely on some dialogue, and typically actual events characterize characters better than dialogue. However, there does appear to be a clear 3 act story which has been thoroughly thought out. Unfortunately, the incredible detail may make the film too long. Perhaps cutting down on some of the plot would help convey the story better instead of having so many events. Still, the story is very unique and interesting and a clear theme is being explored.
ReplyDeleteThis story seems like a mystery with some drama involved. The theme seems to be interesting in the girl and guy never give up and persevere throughout, but the story has a bit too much details. The short film is from 5-7minutes and it will be quite difficult to convey all these events, while making sure your audience is not confused. The character development in both Taylor and Nathan seems strong, but there interchanging stories and perspectives might be confusing for the audience. Also the simple tragic ending seems redundant so the picture of the trophy gives glimpses of hope to the audience.
ReplyDeleteHmmm... I think a ghost concept might be a little difficult. This is an interesting topic that brings it the concept of a higher power, like Bruce Almighty. Set design and characters will be key to produce your movie. I like your idea and where your going, but some of the scenes are highly unrealistic for our budget. A car crash might be extremely hard to pull off.
ReplyDeleteYour idea seems interesting but like the people above said, it might be hard to pull off. The story could be shorter because it seems too dragged out and long with some unneeded dialogue and events. But overall i has a good message to convey to the audience.
ReplyDeletei think it's really good! i just think it would be hard to understand the whole subconscious nathan part of it. other than that i think there is good character development of taylor and the conflict is clear, as well as the rising and falling actions. i think you would be able to portray everything within the time frame if you cut down on some of the scenes in the middle where she is running around and looking for nathan. overall its a good treatment.
ReplyDelete